Students have a lot going on. Sometimes, it becomes a contest.
The magic of Haven is that so many students have incredible stories to tell. The kid sitting next to you might be a soccer state champion, an intern at a Penn lab, or a prolific muralist.
When you first hear about those accomplishments, you’re happy for them. But for me at least, it suddenly feels like you’ve done absolutely nothing with your life so far. I end up in a spiral, wondering how these kids I’ve grown up with, these kids who’ve had the relatively same opportunities I have, were able to achieve so many things.
This fear is one of the pressures to succeed at Haven. Initially, students start with a passion for their extracurriculars, a drive to do well in school, or just a general sense of self-esteem. That motivation can be rapidly extinguished by the realization that someone else will always be better than you at whatever you’re doing.
Few schools hold such an indomitable spirit of curiosity; Haven is lucky to have students who are always challenging each other to be better. I am constantly impressed by how creative my classmates are, and how they are able to push through clubs and practice and homework and family and still come out with stellar grades.
However, it’s so easy to fall into the trap of asking yourself, “We’re just in high school, so how are people doing all of this? Am I failing, because I don’t reach those standards? Should I just give up, because everyone else is doing better than me?”
If you’re feeling that way, you have my greatest sympathies. It is rough.
In my sophomore year, my science teacher Ms. Kathy Freeman liked to say that “comparison is the thief of joy.” I understood that in theory, but I still compared myself all the time.
I propose a different solution than just avoiding comparison altogether, if you are struggling with imposter syndrome.
Consider balance.
There are certain things that you do effortlessly that other people are not able to do nearly as well. There are no stupid or worthless skills. Even the ability to count the number of jellybeans in a jar is an extraordinary gift, and one that I desperately wish I had every Halloween.
The people who seem like they can do it all are not, in fact, doing it all. The people you’re envious of might be envious of you too, even if you don’t realize it.
High school is built as a perfect pressure cooker. We’re exiting our most awkward phase of middle school to discover the identities we’re comfortable with, but there are metrics of success everywhere, from who has the best grades to the college you get into. It makes us insecure.
The most tragic thing I can imagine is a brilliant kid deciding that because their classmates are better at math than them, they’ll stop trying in the class altogether. “Don’t give up on trying” is such a cliche, and for the longest time, I thought whoever came up with it had never had to see an D on a test their friends got As on.
Really, “don’t give up on trying” means that you should make all decisions for yourself, and not because you gave other people the power to dictate what you do with that indomitable Haven spirit.
So if you’re that kid who is struggling to keep trying in a class, or struggling with imposter syndrome, don’t let comparison overcome your curiosity.
Each opinion represented in The Panther Press is the view and voice of the writer. Opinions, as the selection and curation of content by the editors, do not represent the views of the entire Panther Press staff, the adviser, the school, or the administration.
