High school ruined me–in the best way possible. Before assuming I’m being dramatic, which, to be fair, I am, let me explain. 

Throughout high school, I stressed and studied for my future. I believed everything depended on a grade. I walked into high school thinking I had my whole life figured out—a personality, a plan, a perfectly constructed version of myself I thought I needed to be to survive. 

But as I continued to step into my school, I felt like I was falling down a rabbit hole with my plans withering around me. Everything I thought I needed to succeed was all around me, but not within me. 

I had to make decisions that I thought would be easy before I actually had to make them. The person I thought I was going to be was only an idea; in reality, high school was the hands that sculpted me into a different person. 

One thing about myself that never changed was my love for watching movies, and one in particular was the movie “Zombieland.” Throughout the movie, the characters would follow specific rules to survive. And although high school is slightly easier to survive than a zombie apocalypse, the rules still apply, except I distort them a little bit. 

Rule 1: Confidence

I’ve learned that if you don’t believe in yourself, no matter what you do or what you achieve, you will never feel proud of yourself. I struggled giving myself credit and compliments, and when I achieved what I wanted to achieve, I never felt like it was enough. Just be kind to yourself. Don’t take your mistakes as failure, but as lessons. I know it sounds cliché, but no matter what happens at the end, you’ll never feel fulfilled if you never feel it along the way. 

Rule 2: Follow your passion

Many of my peers and I have struggled with this: following our minds rather than our hearts. Once I got into high school, I thought I needed to give up my passion for art to focus on my academic studies. I didn’t believe I could do both and needed to focus all my energy on one. I never took an art class throughout high school, and it has always been a regret of mine. I thought taking challenging courses and getting good grades were the only way to get into college. What I should’ve done was balance my academics with my passion, instead of giving it up. Your passions help you throughout whatever journey you’re in; they create you into the character you are. 

Rule 3: You’re still a kid—remember that.

When I got to high school, I thought maturing meant becoming an adult, but it’s really about respect—respect not just towards others but also towards yourself. You must let yourself grow and still love your old self. And by your old self, I mean your inner child. Do things that bring out your inner child. Have fun, don’t let the way you think others think of you mess with that. It’s okay to still play with toys or have stuffed animals on your bed; what matters is that you enjoy it. 

Rule 4: Try new things.

I never would have thought I would be an editor of a newspaper or on my speech and debate team. Before high school, I was so adamant about sticking to the “fun” clubs that I was intimidated by the ones I take part in now. I’m so glad I exposed myself to new and even scary things. I love writing for the paper and helping others improve their writing while improving my own at the same time. I would have never been able to think the way I think, take the path I’m taking, or be the person I am if I didn’t do the things I never thought I would ever enjoy. 

Rule 5: High school isn’t just about learning topics, but also about yourself—know that.

I’ve stressed this before, but don’t go into high school with a strict plan. This mindset makes the good moments not feel as good. If you set expectations high, it becomes a Cinderella moment, where you’re worse off if it doesn’t reach those expectations. 

For me, it was college. I know a lot of people feel this way. I had my heart set on a college: Villanova. I toured Villanova dozens of times, got ahead on the essays, and was about to apply early decision there. However, I decided not to do so the week I was about to submit my application. Although I loved the school, I felt it restricted my options, and I had to decide to push it to regular. Still, I wanted to get in, and I hyped up the moment of getting in to the point when I did, I wasn’t proud of myself. I didn’t jump up and down, and didn’t want to. I felt so disappointed in myself at that moment. 

The cycle continued. I got into harder schools, schools I thought I’d commit to, but didn’t. I’ve learned from this. And I want to pass it on: don’t feel you need to predict your future.