The student newspaper of Strath Haven High School. The Panther Press is first and foremost a reflection of the opinions and interests of the student body. For this reason, we do not publish any anonymous or teacher-written submissions, and we do not discriminate against any ideology or political opinion. While we are bound by school policy (and funding), we will not render any article neutral, although individual points may be edited for obscene or inflammatory content. Finally, the articles published in the Panther Press do not necessarily reflect the views of the editors or advisors.

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This Year’s Hot Halloween Costumes

Ryan Sheehan, '17, Editor

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Has your dining room table just recently acquired a bowl of festive gourds? Do you see at least three candid pictures of people apple picking at Linvilla every time you open up Instagram? Were you scared the other day because your neighbor covered his bushes in super spooky fake cobwebs without any warning? Well I know I was, and all of it means is we have found ourselves in the middle of fall once again. Unfortunately, seemingly as quickly as it arrived, October has already drawn to a close as the leaves continue to fall in unison with my standards. Nevertheless, as we get closer and closer to Thanksgiving, I am not letting anything distract me from the main event of the season: Halloween. Although I couldn’t go trick-or-treating anymore without receiving more pity than candy, Halloween remains one of my favorite holidays of the year. So, in the spirit of spirits, ghosts, ghouls and everything in between, I’ve put together a quick rundown of how this year’s nightmarish pop culture scene is manifesting in seasonal costume stores nationwide.

Clowns: One of the time-honored classics that you may have seen in the news recently. Following a seemingly random clown sighting in the woods by a little boy in Greenville, South Carolina, clown doppelgangers have proceeded to surface all across the country. Sociologist Robert Bartholomew at Botany College in New Zealand believes that this current clown scare is a result of two rising forces in the US: social media, and a fear of otherness. Many others–McDonald’s and the Ringling Bros. just to name a few, care less about what this says about the current state of the nation, and are just hoping that this terrifying trend trips over its oversized shoes soon so that things can go back to normal. Regardless of your stance on the matter, it is unfortunately undeniable that the popularity of the clown costume has evidently transcended the Halloween of 2016. So, in solidarity with your fellow Americans everywhere, hopefully you thought twice before giving Bonzo that extra Reese’s this year.

Stormtroopers: The Star Wars fanaticism is back this year with the release of Star Wars: The Force Awakens and the impending release of Rogue One: A Star Wars Story. So it is certain that you were graced with seeing garrisons of quasi-clones in a suburb near you.

Parisian Heist Robbery Victim: In light of the recent Kardashian drama in Paris, the emergence of this unnerving costume came under immediate fire. In case you have no idea what I am referencing, Kim Kardashian was recently robbed at gunpoint in her Parisian hotel room during this year’s fashion week. Reports claim that five men dressed as police officers broke in while she was asleep, locked her in the bathroom, and proceeded to steal a $4 million engagement ring before escaping. Thus, the “Parisian Heist Robbery Victim” includes a long black wig, big sunglasses, rope, a bathrobe and a fake engagement ring and it will run you $69.99. However, be warned, because if you purchase this costume, Kanye will be coming for you.

Gorillas: These 800 lb apes have been especially close to the public’s heart this year. Following a tragedy at the Cincinnati Zoo last May in which a gorilla had to be shot after a child fell into its enclosure, the event has since turned into a widespread meme. Five months have now passed since the event and people are still talking about Harambe the gorilla. It has persisted for so long in fact that the Cincinnati Zoo has actually had to put out a statement asking people to knock it off. “We are not amused by the memes, petitions and signs about Harambe,” Thane Maynard, Cincinnati Zoo director, told the Associated Press. “Our zoo family is still healing, and the constant mention of Harambe makes moving forward more difficult for us. We are honoring Harambe by redoubling our gorilla conservation efforts and encouraging others to join us.” Unfortunately, it would appear that many aren’t taking this cease and desist too seriously as gorilla costumes continue to fly off of the shelves this season faster than you can say, “Why didn’t that enclosure have better railings in the first place?” Sexy Nation Living in an Existential Panic Every Day: You didn’t even need to dress up for this one. And many more still, but that’s about all I can manage for now. Happy Halloween Haven.

The student newspaper of Strath Haven High School. The Panther Press is first and foremost a reflection of the opinions and interests of the student body. For this reason, we do not publish any anonymous or teacher-written submissions, and we do not discriminate against any ideology or political opinion. While we are bound by school policy (and funding), we will not render any article neutral, although individual points may be edited for obscene or inflammatory content. Finally, the articles published in the Panther Press do not necessarily reflect the views of the editors or advisors.
This Year’s Hot Halloween Costumes